Silver Linings in a Gold Month: Blessings We’ve Received Due to Link’s Cancer Diagnosis
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I worked on a different blog post about childhood cancer for several weeks in September, but it was honestly really hard. I bounced around working on one blog post after another, trying to get up the motivation to complete the original post that centers on the harsh realities of childhood cancer. Living through the fight is unimaginably painful, but the fight doesn’t end when your kid reaches end-of-treatment. Just like every other parent who’s walked the childhood cancer road, I got battle scars—scars that I often don’t want to look at.
When I was about halfway through writing the original article, I was, yet again, finding it difficult to tackle my important Childhood Cancer Awareness Month blog post. Avoidance is, unfortunately, my go-to defense mechanism. Anyone notice that my last published post was back in AUGUST?! If you didn’t, lucky you. Personally, I think I thought about it every single day between September 1st and today. Once you become a childhood cancer mom, you quickly feel the responsibility of spreading awareness that our children deserve so much more! I deeply felt that duty last month, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to finish an article. The responsibility—even though I know it’s far from all mine—felt crushing. And, truth be told, I was grieving the fact that my life led me to be in the childhood cancer world to feel such responsibility in the first place.
As I tried to force myself to write, I had the realization that it is OK if I’m not ready to finish that original blog article yet. I decided to give myself grace, and I started writing this article instead. Its focus is on a topic I naturally find much easier to talk and write about: gratitude.
I WILL publish my other post on childhood cancer someday. I 100% feel it’s my duty and calling to spread awareness and support for our warrior children. If you take a look at the title of my blog, though, it should come as no surprise that I chose to have this blog post revolve around all of the silver linings my family and I have been gifted with because of Lincoln’s cancer diagnosis.
I always try to focus on the positives. There are too many horrendous negatives that come with childhood cancer, and I WILL address them in several future posts. Today, though, I’m giving myself more time. In doing so, I sincerely hope that I can comfort the families living through the Hellish nightmare that is childhood cancer and also provide others with some ideas of how they can help.
Here is a list of 25 blessings and gifts my family has received as a result of Link’s leukemia diagnosis:
1. Never Ever Give Up Joy Jars from the Jessie Rees Foundation
I believe this was the first organization I signed Lincoln up for after he was diagnosed. Each month for a year they send the cancer cutie (and his/her siblings) a plastic jar filled with little gifts. The gifts range from stuffed animals to card decks to light up toys to rubber duckies to whoopee cushions. They also send extra things, such as blankets and pillows cases, for birthdays. Our boys loved getting the jars.
2. Superhero Cape from TinySuperheroes
Lincoln received his superhero cape shortly after his diagnosis. Josh’s sister surprised us by applying for Link to get one. This is an easy, kind way you can help a newly-diagnosed kiddo. The cape is such a fun thing for Lincoln. He had one hospital stay when her wouldn’t let me take it off him! 😂 It’s also a very fitting gift; these kids truly are superheroes!
3. Milestone Gift from the Sadie Keller Foundation
This is such a wonderful non-profit. Sadie Keller is a childhood cancer survivor. She started this foundation because she “believes that we must band together to fight and end childhood cancer”. One element of her foundation is that it provides children going through cancer with a big “Milestone Gift” (of his/her choice within a certain dollar amount). We got Lincoln a ride-on Jeep! He and Logan both LOOOVE it.
https://sadiekellerfoundation.org/
4. Wagon from Hug Your People
This non-profit was started in honor of another childhood cancer survivor, Baxley. They provide childhood cancer families with wagons filled with goodies. You have to go back and forth from the hospital—loaded down with lots of stuff—when your kid is in treatment. Cancer kiddos also often don’t have the energy and/or stamina to walk on their own. The wagons from HYP help with both things! I can’t tell you how many times we’ve used and been grateful for this gift since we got it.
5. Monkey in My Chair
This is such a creative idea. When kids go through cancer treatments, they understandably miss a lot of school. As a result, it can leave them feeling even more lonely and disconnected from their peers. This organization provides an adorable stuffed animal monkey that the cancer cutie’s teacher can put at his/her desk whenever he/she is absent. It’s a fun way for everyone in the class to stay connected.
http://www.monkeyinmychair.org/
6. Ironman Q Foundation*
Quinton Muir is a childhood cancer angel who loved Ironman. His amazing family set up this foundation in his honor. They provide care packages, Christmas boxes, and scholarships to kids battling cancer. We received a huge package containing a beautiful handmade quilt and lots of other toys for Lincoln and Logan the first Christmas Link was in treatment.
7. HayesTough Foundation*
Hayes is another childhood cancer angel. We feel especially close to his family’s story because he was a triplet. His beautiful parents created this organization to provide “financial support and hope to families affected by childhood cancer”. We couldn’t believe their generosity when we opened up the box from them!
8. Lighthouse Family Retreat
You’ve heard me talk ad nauseum about this incredible organization. This weeklong, beachside retreat with other families living through childhood cancer forever changed us. PLEASE apply to attend ones of their retreats if your child is going through treatment or has recently reached end-of-treatment. Recommend it to your friends! You won’t regret it.
https://www.lighthousefamilyretreat.org/
9. Blue Skies Retreat
Again, I’ve written about this wonderful experience before, but I can’t recommend it enough! We made lifelong friends and memories on this amazing vacation. While with LFR, I believe your child has to be in treatment or just off treatment within the past year, with Blue Skies, I believe your child has to be in treatment or just barely off treatment (as in within a month or two).
https://www.blueskiesministries.org/
10. Wacky Warriors Tournament*
This was our second year attending the Wacky Warriors tournament. The organization was founded by another childhood cancer angel, Nick Raiit, before he passed away, and his family has kept it going. Each September they hold a girls’ softball tournament, and each team represents a local childhood cancer warrior, angel, or survivor. We’ve been utterly spoiled each year! Everyone goes out of their way to honor our warriors and families.
https://www.wackywarriors.org/2022-softball-tournament
11. Camp Hobe*
Yet another fantastic local organization, Camp Hobe offers summer camps in Utah “for children being treated for cancer and similarly-treated disorders and their families”. This past summer my boys went to their first day camp there, and they LOVED it!! So did I; I got several hours of time to myself! 😉 Once my boys are seven, they’ll be eligible to attend one of Camp Hobe’s overnight camps.
12. The Big Dig Event*
This is a fundraiser in Utah that’s put on every September or October to raise funds for pediatric cancer research. Kids have the chance to operate real construction machinery, get their faces painted, play games, get some swag, etc. Since Link was diagnosed just a tad before Covid, this was the first time we attended in person. Our boys loved it!
13. Mascot Miracles Events*
The Mascot Miracles Foundation is amazing. Throughout the year they put on several events for kids who spend much of their lives in hospitals. We’ve only been able to attend one virtual event (filmed at an aquarium) and one in-person event (at Cowabunga Bay) so far, but we plan on going to many more in the future.
14. Private Concert with Alex Boyé*
We have so many phenomenal people in Link’s Army. A couple of days before Easter in 2020, one of my friends contacted me because she had a once-in-a-lifetime surprise for us. Her husband had nominated us to have Alex Boyé come serenade us in a private, “Quarantine Concert” in our front yard! (Remember, this was the early days of the pandemic.) Alex came with a few of his kids, set up a modest sound system, and sang to us in our driveway for over an hour. He was utterly amazing—both as an artist and as a person. Friends from around our neighborhood came and watched while keeping their distance. It was an experience we’ll never, ever forget.
15. Make-a-Wish Trip
This is the big one. Pretty much everyone’s heard of this non-profit organization and how it helps brighten the lives of children with critical illnesses. Now that our family is directly working with Utah’s chapter, I can attest to the fact that they truly are incredible. A couple of weeks ago we got the news that Lincoln’s wish has been granted! In November we’ll be heading to Orlando for Disney World and Universal Studios and staying at the incredible Give Kids the World Village!!!! 🤗
16. Monetary Donations
We have been absolutely blown away by people’s generosity since Lincoln was diagnosed. We have been given a few thousand dollars over the past three years. Money has rolled in from family, friends, coworkers, former co-workers, former classmates, organizations, strangers, etc. Believe me, we don’t take it for granted! We feel overwhelmingly blessed with finances and insurance thanks to the jobs Josh has held. Even so, it is ALWAYS expensive to have a child go through cancer. Hidden bills and fees seem to show up all the time; I’ve come to dread getting the mail because there’s almost always a medical bill and/or something I have to do with insurance. Things would have been so much more stressful without everyone’s help, though. If you’re ever wondering what you can do to help a family going through cancer, money is always appreciated. 💛
17. An iPad
I’ve mentioned before that I’m part of a one-of-a-kind Facebook group for Utah moms whose kids are going through/have gone through cancer. The caliber of women I’ve met through this group can’t be overstated. They are truly awe-inspiring. One of the beautiful things they did for our family was raise funds to gift us an iPad and an overflowing basket of goodies. Kiddos going through cancer treatment spend innumerable hours in hospitals and at appointments, and their siblings are often stuck at home (ESPECIALLY in this post-Covid world), so having plenty of entertainment (books, puzzles, stuffed animals, toys, games, coloring books, stickers, etc.) is a must. In case you can’t tell from their smiling faces in the picture above, Lincoln and Logan LOVED this amazing gift.
18. Food/Restaurant/Gas Gift Card Donations
As you can imagine, you don’t have much spare time when you’re dealing with cancer. We appreciated anything that could simplify our days. We were blessed time and time (& time) again with family, friends, and neighbors who brought us meals. We received frozen meals and hot meals with equal gratitude. We also loved getting gift cards to restaurants—especially to fast food joints for those particularly crazy days. Gift cards for gas were lifesavers with all of the trips to and from the hospital. You might think giving these things is “boring” or uninspired, but I promise you that they’re one of the first things almost ALL families going through cancer treatments say they need.
19. Random Donations
When people are trying to think of families that could use a little boost in spirits, they understandably tend to think of families dealing with cancer. I know I did before Link was diagnosed, and I definitely do now! As a result, MANY people have given us surprises throughout the past 3-1/2 years. We got THREE outdoor playsets/toys people were getting rid of. We got an AMAZING, one-of-a-kind, custom-built swing from Josh’s stepdad. We got a custom-made canvas print of our boys. We got homemade quilts. And so much more!! At times we’ve felt guilty for all of the incredible things people have offered. However, at one point my wise friend told me that people wouldn’t offer if they didn’t want to give us something, and by turning a gift down, we weren’t allowing those people to serve and bless us. OK, fine… We’ll gladly let people receive blessings for blessing us. 😘
20. Driveway Chalk Art & “Heart Attacks”
As simple as it is, it always brightened our day when we discovered loving artwork and messages on our driveway and/or front door. I’ve said this before already, but you don’t need to reinvent the wheel to make someone smile! These are tried and true ways to lift someone’s spirits.
21. Discounts
Oh, the wonderful discounts… 😂 Like I’ve said before, the cost of admission to the cancer club is WAY too high. But… We didn’t complain when it balanced out a teensy bit when companies offered us discounts after learning about Lincoln. Lower cost for sprinkler repair? Yes, please!!!
22. Cleaning Help
You know the popular question along the lines of, “If you could have a maid, a personal chef, or a nanny for the rest of your life, which would you choose?” My answer is always the same: A MAID!!!! ALWAYS a maid! I love having a clean house. However, it is an ongoing struggle for me to ever want to clean. My ADHD certainly doesn’t help. Neither did Link’s cancer diagnosis. A few times throughout his treatment, we had wonderful friends come over to clean our house and/or do some laundry. My mom, who stayed with us and helped us more than I could have ever wished for, was a LIFESAVER in this department, as well. If you’re wondering what you can do to help a family going through a medical trial, offer to clean their house. Or offer to pay for a maid to clean for them (just one time or as an ongoing thing for awhile). Seriously. They may be hesitant to say yes at first, but ask them if it would honestly help. If they admit that it would (and I don’t know a single cancer mom who honestly would never appreciate it), tell them there is 100% no judgment in it, that you want to help, and you’re going to help.
23. Yardwork/Snow Removal Help
One of my favorite funny memes says, “I don’t think of myself as having a ‘grey’ thumb; I’m more of a plant hospice worker, easing the transition so plants can go to Jesus”. 😂🙋🤦 Yep. That’s me. While I would love to love gardening like my mom does, that hasn’t happened yet in my life. Josh and I REALLY struggle with getting out and doing yardwork. We don’t want to have the worst yard on the block, but more often than not, it’s a contender. During Lincoln’s treatment…?? Forget about it. When people offered to come mow our lawn, weed whack, pull weeds, etc., we were SO GRATEFUL!!!! The same can be said for when people removed snow from our driveway/sidewalks in the winter. Angels—all of them.
24. Friendships with Others who “Get It”
This gift is truly priceless. I will never be able to fully communicate how grateful I am for the tribe we fell into that makes this difficult road so much more bearable. We’ve made friends through Facebook groups, family retreats, and many other avenues. We would have been lost without them.
25. “Get Out of Ticket Free” cards 😉
OK. This is mostly a joke, but in reality we DID use Lincoln having cancer as an excuse to get out of speeding tickets…twice. 😂 Neither Josh not I get pulled over often. It just so happened that we got pulled over TWICE in 2020 when we were going on car rides to get out of the house. It happened early on when Lincoln was pretty miserable. We’d drive through neighborhoods for a change of scenery, and a couple of times we didn’t notice speed limit changes. It didn’t take much explaining—basically just a glance at our sweet boy’s bald head—before the cops let us off.
BONUS: Prayers—So. Many. Prayers.
Oh my goodness… The amount of prayers offered on Lincoln’s behalf—and for our whole family, actually—is innumerable. We’ve been surrounded by good vibes sent from everyone for years. If you even offered one prayer for us, THANK YOU. We felt them, and they helped.
*Denotes local (to/near Utah) organizations
This is most definitely NOT an exhaustive list of everything we’ve received and been blessed with. I know I’ve forgotten some things. It should give you a good idea of why Josh and I are so grateful, though. We’ve been given a lot. Josh and I frequently say that the price of admission into this cancer club is FAR too high, yet we wouldn’t have received any of these beautiful things without joining.
If you know someone whose child has been diagnosed with cancer, please refer to this list for ideas of how you can help! Refer those families to this list so they can sign up for the amazing programs and help available! And whether or not you know a family struggling with childhood cancer, please consider donating to one of the MANY non-profits that help provide hope to families going through some very, very dark days.