These boys, Lincoln Dean (Link) and Logan Atticus (LA), are the reason I am finally launching this blog. They have stolen the hearts of so many, and enough people are interested in their story that I decided I need a way to share their triumphs. You may get tired of me saying this, but they are truly our miracle babies. I’ll obviously write a lot more about them in future posts, but here are the basics:
Josh and I had been married for about 5-1/2 years when we decided to start seriously trying to get pregnant. We both come from big families without any issues in this department, so we assumed it would be easy-peasy. We were wrong. After over a year without any success, we decided to see some reproductive specialists. A battery of tests resulted in a “diagnosis” of unexplained infertility. What does that mean? It means that we were having difficulty conceiving, but no one could tell us why. Gee, thanks. We never could have figured that out on our own. 😉
Well, it took about five years of trying, thousands of dollars in medical tests and procedures, and an abundance of prayers, but I was finally able to get pregnant–with twins!!! Our fourth Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) was successful. If this one hadn’t worked out, our plan was to move on to In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Obviously, Josh and I were equal parts ecstatic, nervous, and grateful. The day we’d been wishing and hoping for had finally arrived.
As “luck” would have it, though, we were just beginning a very unexpected, difficult year. My twin pregnancy was rough, but no more so than any other average twin pregnancy. I was miserable–first with awful morning sickness, then with feeling like a whale. I didn’t have any complications until the very end of my pregnancy, though. Of course, the end of my pregnancy came much earlier than for most mothers.
When I was exactly 23 weeks along, I just felt like something was “off”, so I scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN. I went in for a thorough checkup, and everything seemed completely normal. Both boys were moving, their heartbeats were good, and they were growing. At that point, my fundal height measurement was the same as if I were 36 weeks along with a singleton. Twins, man. No wonder I was miserable. Anyway, I went back to work with my worries fully assuaged.
A couple of days later, however, I woke up to discover what I thought might be me losing part of my mucus plug. Sorry if that’s TMI! I honestly can’t believe I’m writing this to the world; I’m such a private person. If, however, my story can help one mom from going through my ordeal, it’s worth it. Moms–trust your guts. Even if you aren’t directly told that you need to rest up, if you feel “off”, more tired than usual, and like you need to slow down, JUST DO IT! I can’t tell you if I could have done anything to prevent my preterm labor. It’s doubtful, but I wish I’d slowed down just in case.
I checked into Labor and Delivery the next day, on a Saturday. They tried to stop my contractions, but they were just able to slow the contractions down. The next several days were a whirlwind of question marks. We didn’t know if I’d have to deliver, if they’d be able to stop labor, if I’d be on bedrest, if I’d be able to go home on bedrest–nada. I progressed to the point that I had to be life-flighted to a different hospital with a better-equipped NICU early Tuesday morning on January 10th, 2017, and that night I delivered Lincoln at 8:12 PM and Logan at 8:20 PM.
They were born at 23 weeks 6 days gestation, they each weighed 1 pound 10 ounces, and they each had a 50% chance of survival. Once again, we hit our knees to pray more earnestly than we ever had before in our whole lives–and more people joined us than we ever would have thought possible. Obviously our family and close friends prayed and fasted for us. What we weren’t expecting, though, was that their family and friends would pray for us, and so would their family and friends. We literally had people all around the world praying that everything would be okay with our boys, that they’d both survive, and that we’d be able to bring them home. It worked.
Lincoln and Logan spent 160 days in the NICU before we were able to bring them home. That’s a little over five months. Most days both Josh and I drove to whichever hospital(s) they were in (they spent time in three different NICUs) to spend several hours with them. At least one of us went every single day. Yep, it was grueling, but it was also oh so worth it. I’ll talk more about their whole NICU journey in depth slowly but surely. Suffice it to say, however, that those five months were some of both the longest and the shortest of our lives. I don’t know how that works, but it does. In that time we had more reason to rage against the heavens than we’d ever had before, but we also witnessed more miracles, blessings, and tender mercies than we could have imagined.
One might think that after such a traumatic crash course introduction to the world, our boys would be spared further difficulty. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. Hospitals have been our frequent home away from home with all of their doctor and therapy appointments. That was even before Lincoln was diagnosed with cancer in 2020. I will definitely be talking about his years in treatment quite a bit. For now, though, you can rest easy knowing that he’s in remission!
Yep. Our boys have been through more in their five years of life than many people experience in a whole lifetime. All along the way, they teach us lessons and remind us repeatedly that being their parents is the greatest privilege we’ve ever been given.