Finding Joy through Life's Trials
Finding Joy through Life's Trials
My heart is hurting today. Truth be told, it’s hurt a lot off and on for several months. The past few days I’ve been especially down, though. The reason why is a one-word answer, and I bet you can guess it. Yep… Cancer. In our …
I am in SUCH a good mood right now! Thanks to the DIN (Do It NOW) challenge I ran last month, for the first time perhaps ever, I have all of my Christmas decorations (except for our tree) up! And it’s only December 1st! Thank …
I know. I know you’ve already seen too many ideas for non-profits to donate to this week to count. I know it’s right before Christmas, and odds are good that your own finances are stretched tighter than you’d like. However, I also know firsthand how much charities like the ones I’ve listed below help struggling families. And I know how deeply you care and want to help others.
This is FAR from an exhaustive list of charities…or charities for childhood cancer…or even LOCAL (to Utah) charities for childhood cancer. A few of these non-profits not only help kids going through cancer but also many other children with different abilities and/or life-threatening conditions. Every single charity I listed here, however, is one that I love. Most of them have directly benefited my family. ALL of them have benefited many of my friends and their families.
Without further ado, here are 20+ charities (complete with links) that I highly encourage you to support and donate to…
*Non-profits with ties to Utah
I can’t tell you how much joy and relief several of these organizations have given us. Family retreats that helped us have “normal” vacations without medical worries, camps and events that let our children run around and play with other kids who’ve had similar experiences, amazing gifts and toys that brought smiles to all of our faces… I’m so grateful for people and organizations with hearts of gold. I love this famous quote:
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi
I have several friends who are living through the very depths of Hell right now with their kids’ cancer treatments. Hearing that your child has cancer is Hellish enough, but what these families are battling as I type this is unfathomable. So many people are suffering every day. I wish I could take away their pain—or, better yet, CURE the disease that causes the pain, but that ability lies with someone far greater than me.
That doesn’t mean I/we can’t do anything, though. I love it when I can do anything to help ease others’ burdens. It’s a way I can “pay it forward” in gratitude for where we’re at with Lincoln today—20 months off treatment. We’ve been so blessed.
If you have any extra available funds today, please join me in making a difference. Any amount helps! Please make a donation to one of these incredible organizations, and rest assured that the families it will benefit will be so thankful. 💛
For fall break we rented a cute cabin via Airbnb in the Smoky Mountains and had a great time rediscovering Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge and exploring with my parents. It was everything we’d hoped it would be! We loved the cabin—so much so that Logan still calls …
We were fortunate enough to go to St. Simons Island (SSI), Georgia for the second time this past June! If you’ve been following us for awhile, you might remember that in July of 2022, we attended a family retreat on SSI with Blue Skies Ministries. …
Please tell me I’m not the only mom who both looks forward to and dreads throwing them. Actually, you don’t have to tell me. I’m psychic. I know I’m not alone.
You may be wondering why I’m writing about this particular topic now when my twins’ birthday is on January 10th. I’ll tell you why.
A lot of things led to this, but we had a half-birthday party for our boys a couple of Saturdays ago. Since Lincoln and Logan spent the first 5-½ months of their lives in NICUs, they didn’t come home from the hospital until June 19, 2017. The following January when their first birthday rolled around, they were both recently out of the hospital (due to a virus) and still on oxygen.
Considering their still-low, micro-preemie immune systems, we decided we’d just celebrate their first birthday quietly at home that year and then celebrate the anniversary of them finally coming home from the NICU with a big party in June. A tradition was born!
It was a great solution! We were able to relax and have fun without worrying about the abundance of germs and respiratory illnesses in January. Then we were able to invite as many people as we wanted for their outdoor party in June. My birthday is in July, and Josh’s is in August, so we’re more used to summer birthday parties anyway. 😊
I came to a new realization as I prepared for the twins’ half-birthday party this year, though. I’d been planning the party for weeks—pinning ideas to a Pinterest board like I do every year. The problem, though, was that I couldn’t bring myself to actually follow through on any of my grand plans. Each day I’d tell myself that was the day I’d do x, y, or z. And each day I’d let myself down. When I reflected on why I wasn’t doing the things I’d planned, I realized that this has become a pattern of mine.
Sure, I’m a recovering procrastinator…isn’t everyone?! (I’m not talking to you superhuman/alien anomalies that always get started on things right away. I’ll never understand how you people do it. 😂) This birthday party planning/prepping procrastination was on a whole other level, though.
It hit me that I frequently put off planning and preparing for big events or parties. Why? They’re supposed to be fun! Because there have been too many times to count when we were excited and all but ready for an anticipated event, and then someone in our family (usually Lincoln) got sick, and we had no choice but to cancel.
You know me. I’m usually someone who tries to look on the bright side, but Josh and I had gotten into the negative mindset of expecting something bad to happen when we have fun plans. I know we’re not alone in this. I’ve read/heard enough about trauma to know this is a trauma response.
I’d figured out that I was dealing with a PTSD trigger. Add on the usual peer and social media pressure of wanting to create a picture-perfect, Pinterest-worthy party, and I was paralyzed.
Why do we do this to ourselves????? WHY—when we also hear that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others—do moms continually do so anyway?!
Luckily, naming the issue you’re dealing with empowers you to face it head-on and (hopefully) overcome it. I felt so much better after simply putting into words what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. Then I talked to my life coach and felt even better. It’s like therapists, self-help books, life coaches, and writing/journaling proponents know what they’re talking about! 😉
If you’re struggling with something, I highly encourage you to WRITE and/or TALK about it. Write it down, or say it out loud. Get your jumble of thoughts untangled. Then it will be easier to take action.
I was able to get over my hurdle and start following through on my party preparations. Just recognizing and acknowledging why it was hard for me made it easier to tackle.
You know what also helped? Lowering my expectations.
A very smart man I know (aka Josh 😉) lives his life with this philosophy: A 94% is still an A. He’s never agonized over trying to get a 100%. He’s been telling me since we were in college that I should stop stressing and striving for perfection so much. I’ve only taken it to heart without shaming myself over the past few years, though.
It’s fine to “just” get a 94% A. B’s are fine, too. So are C’s. Yep, you read that correctly. Yes, REALLY!!! If you had told me five years ago—or perhaps even just two years ago—that I’d write those words, I wouldn’t have believed you. To a large extent, I grew up equating my worth to the grades I received. Sure, I never would have said that I was “better” than someone else because I got mostly A’s. I’m ashamed to admit that that was my underlying, subconscious belief, though.
Several events—especially having special needs kids and working with my life coach—have luckily changed my views.
Grades are not an issue of worth or morality. Each of us has worth simply because we exist. Someone who earns A’s isn’t worth more than someone who gets F’s. A mom who throws an out-of-this-world amazing birthday party for her kid is not worth any more than a mom who barely has enough money to buy her child one simple, small gift.
Your kids’ birthday parties aren’t actually going to get “graded” (except, perhaps, by yourself), but…
They don’t indicate how “good” of a person—or mom—you are.
So…we had our boys’ party. Did I get everything done that I’d planned to? No. Were there still several cute ideas and activities on my Pinterest board that I didn’t have time or energy to incorporate? Yes.
This is the most important question, though: Did everyone still have fun? YES!!!!!
We had lots of family come over, and we ate and visited for hours. All of our kids ran free playing together. I didn’t even follow through on any of the activities I’d thought about doing because they were having so much fun just being kids—running, playing, sliding, having water fights, blowing bubbles, playing with sand, etc.
Be kind to yourselves, ladies. Don’t beat yourself up over what you do/don’t do for your kids’ birthdays. Shower them with love and attention, neither of which cost a thing. Play with them and/or let them play. Celebrate their existence. But don’t overcomplicate it. As long as they know you love them and are so happy they’re alive and yours, you’re good. If you throw them a Pinterest-worthy party of the decade, great! If you choose to have a simple day at home with just cake and ice cream after dinner, fantastic! Either way, you’re a good mom. Believe it.
Ever *plan* on doing something simple and then take over a month to actually do it? Just me…all the time?! Lucky you. 😉 I can’t believe it’s already been over a month since I returned home from my “Moms’ Weekend Out” in St. George! At …
When I was two and three years old, I often excitedly ran up the sidewalk and front steps to a red brick, 1950s bungalow as my mom gathered things from our car. Even though I went there at least a couple of times a week …
Last month I finished reading the book Look What You’ve Done: The Lies We Believe and the Truth that Sets Us Free by Christian music artist Tasha Layton, and I loved it!
Before I dive into my book review, though, I want to tell you about how I met Tasha. My family was able to meet Tasha and her family last summer at the Blue Skies Ministries cancer family retreat we went to at St. Simons Island, Georgia. She was the worship leader for the camp, and words can’t describe how blessed we all were to have her there.
Each day she and her husband (who is also an award-winning professional musician, BTW) serenaded us with beautiful music. She shared her touching testimony and devotionals with us. On top of her amazing talent (her soaring voice gave me goosebumps every single day), Tasha shared her heart with us.
You might think that such a successful woman would be standoffish—just there to do her job and then retire to her private quarters. Not so. Perhaps even more than her incredible singing voice, I was beyond impressed with how down-to-earth, sweet, and involved she was. Tasha, her husband, and their two adorable children joined everyone in all of the activities. They got to know the families whose children were going through the childhood cancer journey (ours included, obviously). They served us. They laughed and played with us. They treated us as their friends.
When Tasha started asking for reviewers to join the launch team for her book, it was a no-brainer. Get an advanced copy of a book to review? YES!! A book by someone I love?! DOUBLE YES!!!!
In her book, Tasha takes us along on her journey as she revisits key moments and periods throughout her life that brought her closer to God. Even though Tasha walks a unique path in the spotlight now, her story is incredibly relatable. She’s so vulnerable. She even shares what led to some of her darkest moments, including a suicide attempt. Her life hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, but she’s persevered through her trials and now uses her experiences and gifts to light others’ paths.
In this book she does a wonderful job of not only chronicling her life but also helping her audience learn the lessons she herself learned—in particular, that God is with us every single step of the way—through the wonderful, the horrible, and everything in between. The questions she includes at the end of each chapter also help the reader reflect on his/her own life. Her vulnerability paired with her beautiful writing kept me eager to read more day after day.
I highly recommend this book—especially to Christians and/or anyone else seeking a story that details how following the little nudges from the universe can bring forth great blessings. Reading and engaging with this book can be a truly transformative experience.
Here are My Favorite 18 Quotes from the Book:
Do yourself and/or a friend a favor, and buy this book! I hope you’ll get as much out of it as I did. If you do read it, let me know what you think!
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” ~William Shakespeare The curtains open on two friends in their late thirties as they run into each other at the grocery store. JANE: “Oh, hi, Becca! I love following your family on …
As y’all know, Valentine’s Day was this week. I was planning on posting a list of my favorite romantic movies in celebration. However, on Monday Josh informed me of something I was somehow unaware of, and it completely changed my plans. Wanna know what he …
The winter doldrums have definitely set in. If you, too, suffer from seasonal depression, then you get it. The fun and excitement of the holidays are over, and I’m worn out from the festivities and dealing with my kids’ frequent sicknesses. I’m never a cold or snow lover, but it’s especially depressing January through March when it’s not even adding to the ambience of a white Christmas.
Every single year I question why I still live in Northern Utah. (I already know the answer, though: family. If it weren’t for wanting to live close to family, I would have high-tailed it to another state—preferably southern California—long ago. OK, family AND cost of living. 😉)
Anyway, it’s safe to say that this isn’t my favorite time of year. A couple of weeks ago I had several days in a row when I just felt “off”. I kept trying to figure out why, but I couldn’t pinpoint anything. It wasn’t until one of my friends posted on Facebook about her own seasonal depression that the lightbulb went on. Of course I was feeling a bit down! I frequently feel a bit sad, unsettled, and/or unmotivated at this time of year.
Last week my life coach also reminded me that I have a history of some traumatic events happening in January. My twins were born extremely prematurely on January 10th, and Lincoln was diagnosed with leukemia on January 23rd. Bundle all of these things together, and it’s no wonder I’ve been feeling a little less than bubbly lately.
If there’s one thing working with my coach has taught me, though, it’s that we all have SO MUCH MORE CONTROL over our lives than we may think we do. Back before I started working with Robyn, I would inwardly roll my eyes when I heard something like that. I’d start drafting a counterargument in my head.
Now, though…? I’ve seen and experienced the truthfulness that I’m in control of my own life. The circumstances of my life didn’t change much last year. The way I feel thanks to my mindset shifts, though, is night and day. I needed to be reminded of that.
I can’t change the dreary weather or the fact that January brings up some triggering memories, but I CAN choose to focus on doing more of what makes me happy. What has historically pulled me out of a slump at this time of year? PLANNING VACATIONS!!!!
I desperately need something to look forward to when the world is dreary outside. Pretty much every year sometime between January and March, I start having major wanderlust. That, of course, leads me to daydreaming and Pinterest. I start obsessively pinning travel ideas to add to my Bucket List board, and before you know it, I’ve planned one or two delightful trips that I just have to convince Josh into taking with me. 😉
I’m happy to report that Josh and I are now planning two amazing family trips for this year: one to St. Simons Island, Georgia in June and one to Gatlinburg, Tennessee in October. We’ve been both places before and loved them. I’m so excited!!
Unfortunately, though, they still seem a long way off. I want to get out of the cold before it’s summer and the warm weather has found me in northern Utah. However, between our family vacations, holiday plans for the end of the year, and a surgery he needs to have next month, Josh doesn’t have more available days off at work.
Enter: Girls’ Trip Planning!!
Back in October I went to a “Moms’ Weekend Out” retreat with my life coach and some of her other clients. I actually wrote about it a bit before in a blog post. While there, we struck up a conversation about nights out and trips with girlfriends. I don’t often go out with my girlfriends, but I love it when I do. Craft nights, book club nights, dinners out, overnight trips, retreats—they always boost my spirits and refuel my soul. To my utter shock, I was in the minority among the women on the Moms’ Weekend Out retreat. Several of the others had NEVER been on a girls’ night, overnighter, and/or retreat before. If you’re in that same boat, that needs to change, my friend! ❤️
I’m going to talk about reasons moms, in particular, need to go on a girls’ trip because that’s the season of life I’m in. It’s equally important for you to take these vacays if you’re single and/or don’t have kids, though. Everyone needs a break from the daily grind!
#1: There’s no reason to fear.
It was almost comical when we started talking at my Moms’ Weekend Out retreat about fears we’d had before coming. It turned out that every single one of us—all seven of us there at the time—had been afraid of coming for one reason or another. Some were worried about what others would think of them. Some were worried about not fitting in. Some were worried about leaving their families for a whole weekend.
Here’s the thing, though… WE HAD NOTHING TO FEAR! We were all able to be ourselves and have a grand time together, and more and more worries melted away as the weekend progressed. No one was left out. All of our children and all of our spouses survived without us.
We’d all been worried, and we’d all thought we were the only one stressing. Not so. We are all so much more alike than we are different! Have you ever thought about going on a girls’ overnighter or retreat before but decided not to because of anxiety? Take a deep breath, and go on the trip anyway.
#2: You’ll learn.
This is especially true if you’re going on some sort of retreat or to a conference, but you will learn things on any kind of night(s) out with your friends. While I was on both of the retreats I’ve been on recently (Moms’ Night Out and one for Utah cancer moms), I took pages and pages of notes and insights. Being away from my responsibilities allowed me time to reflect and journal, connecting dots that I don’t have enough time (or silence) to do normally. If you’re simply having a fun night or weekend away with your girlfriends, you will have time to learn more about each other, and your talks will give you different views and perspectives to consider. That leads right into the next reason.
#3: You’ll make/strengthen friendships.
I’m going to go ahead and assume that if you’re choosing to spend time away from your family, you at least sort of like whomever you’ll be spending time with. 😉 No matter how long you’ve known your girlfriends, spending a lot of quality time together always gives you an opportunity to grow closer. If you don’t know all—or even any—of the people you’ll be going with, then time away together gives you the opportunity to make new friends. We all know that those chances are fewer and further between the older we get.
#4: You’ll be able to relax, free from your everyday responsibilities.
When was the last time you literally only had to worry about yourself? Probably way too long. Every time I go on an overnighter with girlfriends, I have the same experiences at the beginning and at the end. As I’m driving solo to the rendezvous destination, I’m a mixture of being unbelievably excited for some carefree time, and I’m already missing my boys and Josh. Motherhood is so weird! 😂 As I’m packing up my things to check out of the hotel or rental property at the end, I’m always blown away by how easy it seems. I feel like I’m missing something even though I’m not. Traveling by yourself—without innumerable kids and pieces of luggage to keep track of—is so easy! It feels like cheating.
And that’s just going to and coming home from the trip. On the trip? You can go to the bathroom when you need to—without a miniature “assistant” accompanying you! You can order whatever food you want AND eat it while it’s still warm (or cold if you order a salad 😉)! You can talk and laugh as loudly as you want without worrying about waking children up! You can sleep in!!!! It’s glorious.
#5: The cost is worth it.
Listen—I get it. Many of you don’t have a ton of expendable income. You might feel guilty about spending your family’s money on something some might view as “selfish”. Here’s the thing, though: Sometimes it’s hard for moms to take care of their own needs, but it is absolutely necessary! I know you’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Do yourself a favor and really, truly think about how much a trip away from your family—even for just one night—would benefit you. When you feel good, it’s easier to make others feel good. You will have fun, make memories, and feel reenergized and refreshed. You will return home a better, happier wife and mom.
#6: You deserve it.
GOING ON A GIRLS’ TRIP IS NOT SELFISH!!!! If my last reason didn’t convince you, then let me paint another picture for you. I’m going to talk directly to stay-at-home moms now. (If that title doesn’t describe you, then just insert your own list of tasks in place of mine.) Day in and day out, you get up (often/usually before anyone else) and spend MUCH of your day doing anything and everything you can to help your family. You change diapers, potty train, wipe noses, dress, and feed your offspring. You clean the house. You do laundry. You make sure there’s food in the house. You pay bills. You get your kids to school and help them do their homework. And, remember, this is all inside the home for your family. If you also have a job and/or you serve in your community, your list grows exponentially.
Yes, every woman’s list looks a little different, but you get the picture. We deserve to go on girls’ trips. We’ve earned it. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Have I convinced you yet? Do it. Book the trip. Leave your cares behind, and go have fun with your girlfriends. Send this article to a girlfriend (or two or three), and convince her/them to go with you! Then come back here and tell me where y’all went. I’m going to get back to my trip planning and messaging my own girlfriends now. 😘
It’s 2023! Last year at this time, I was looking forward to the new year. Lincoln was coming up on finishing his chemo treatment, and I felt like that would free up more time for me to focus on myself. I was right! However, I …
I have always loved Christmas. Unlike many people, I’ve ALWAYS looked forward to it. The lights, the decorations, the music, the movies, the family time, the traditions, the spirit of giving—it all warms my heart. (Notice that I did not list snow as something I …
We got back from Lincoln’s Make-a-Wish trip late on November 22nd, and we’re still on a high from it. The trip was amazing, and we will cherish the memories we made there forever. They automatically included so much on the wish trip. I’m blown away by the generosity of people and these organizations! Here’s a list of what was included in our trip, courtesy of Utah’s Make-a-Wish chapter:
To say we were spoiled would be a massive understatement.
We had to be at the airport for our flight out by 5 in the morning on November 17th. 🥴 It was rough, but once we were through security, it was perfect. Having such an early flight gave us as much time in Florida as we could squeeze out. Our boys did GREAT on the flight! They even got to go into the cockpit and meet the pilots! It was a much better experience for me than our flights this past summer. Having my parents with us definitely helped. 😉
After we landed, we had a sweet Give Kids the World volunteer greet us at the Orlando airport and lead us to get our rental car. Then we drove to the magical Give Kids the World Village. We ate a late lunch, settled into our villa, and started enjoying everything the village had to offer.
Every night the village has a themed party. This first night was their Christmas party! I’d been told by several people that we couldn’t miss it, so we decided to stay at GKTW the first day. The Christmas party was great fun. Our boys got to meet and get pictures with Santa and Mrs. Claus. Then they each got to pick out a toy for their presents. The party also had a balloon artist (which Logan insisted on waiting in a LONG line for), games, arts and crafts, cookie decorating, music, and dancing. It was a wonderful beginning to our trip.
After a yummy breakfast (the food at GKTW was SO MUCH BETTER than we were expecting), we got to meet a penguin from Madagascar. 😊 Then we went to Hollywood Studios. Most of our time was spent enjoying the Star Wars area and rides, but we visited other areas, too. Link’s wish pass was AMAZING!!!! Rise of the Resistance had a 2-1/2 hour standby wait time, but with the pass we were in and out within half an hour. Josh and Logan had a blast building a droid, and Link thoroughly enjoyed the musical holiday popcorn tin I simply had to buy.
That night we went to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party at Magic Kingdom and loved it! As soon as we got in, we bought our boys flashing bubble wands (Mickey for Link and Buzz for LA) and Christmas light necklaces. The bubble wands added to the snow on Main Street, and the flashing necklaces made it so we couldn’t lose our boys. 😉
We had fun sampling cookies and drinks throughout the park and going on some rides. Lincoln’s favorite ride this night was It’s a Small World, which we thought was funny. Josh and I had never been on it before because…well…we’d never had kids making us go on it before this trip. 😂
We watched the fireworks and the end of the parade before heading back to our villa. Lincoln LOVED the fireworks. He’s always loved them. ❤️
We met up with my niece (who lives in Orlando) and spent this day split between Epcot and Animal Kingdom (and, of course, GKTW). It was so nice having McKenzee with us as our personal guide since she goes to the parks so often! As anyone who’s been to Disney World knows, there’s never enough time to do everything you want to, but we had a fantastic first time at all four of the parks on our trip.
We started off in the morning at Epcot with the Guardians of the Galaxy ride, which Josh and I both LOVED. Unfortunately, it made Lincoln and my dad very sick and my mom slightly so. 🤢 We took things fairly slowly after that. We all really enjoyed Turtle Talk with Crush. I also loved the Norwegian decor and treats.
We hopped over to Animal Kingdom around 5, and we were all blown away by how cool Pandora and Avatar’s Flight of Passage were! We definitely didn’t get to spend enough time at this park, but I guess that just means we’ll have to plan another trip!
This is the day we (especially my mom and I) had been waiting for! The day started off with our boys going horseback riding at GKTW, but THEN we finally got to experience Harry Potter World for ourselves!!!! We’ve succeeded in turning our boys into fans, so they were super excited, too. It was adorable. Logan kept asking if we were at the real Harry Potter World. 😊
It was a VERY rainy day, but we were prepared with ponchos, umbrellas, blankets, gloves, and hats. We honestly didn’t mind the rain! It just made us feel like we were actually in the UK, and it made the hot butterbeer divine. We ate at the Three Broomsticks (and loved it), thought the rides were fantastic, and soaked everything in. Lincoln was fascinated by the Monster Book of Monsters, and Logan was practically jumping up and down when we let them pick out wands.
We ended the day going to the Jurassic Park area, so our boys were on cloud nine by the end of the night. Magic and dinosaurs—what more could our family ask for?!
This was the last full day of our trip. We went to Universal Studios again and wore ourselves out (again). Lincoln found his very favorite ride (Woody Woodpecker’s Nuthouse Coaster, of all rides 😂). Josh and I got to experience the VelociCoaster two times in a row with the wish pass while my parents watched our boys. We also got to meet Tango, a baby velociraptor. It was pretty funny. Logan had been talking about meeting a dinosaur at Universal Studios for MONTHS. When the time came, though, he was too scared to even get out of the stroller for the photo op. 😂
We got back to our villa just in time for the cutest thing ever: a bedtime “tuck-in” for our boys from Rugby the dog. You can schedule a tuck-in at GKTW during your stay, and a dressed-up character from the village comes and makes the kids’ bedtime special. The next morning our boys wanted to watch the video I took over and over again. So sweet!
This was our last day at Give Kids the World Village and the day we flew home. Though we were sad to see our vacation coming to an end, we weren’t as sad as I’d expected to be since we’d had such a fantastic, stress-free time. Our flight luckily didn’t leave till 6 PM, so we had time to enjoy things before leaving. We ate, rode on rides, steered boats, and played mini golf at GKTW.
After we left the Village, we met up with my niece Kenz and her boyfriend AJ at Disney Springs for a much-too-short last visit. We got delicious ice cream from Salt & Straw, our very favorite ice cream chain. (I was ecstatic when I found out before our trip that they had a location at Disney Springs, and I promptly added it to our must-do list.)
It’s safe to say that this was a vacation we will NEVER forget. Our fun isn’t even over yet! As part of wish trips, GKTW gives each family the “World Passport”. It’s provided through the IAAPA (International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions), and it will allow us to visit each of the included theme/amusement parks once free of charge for a year! I foresee several road trips in our 2023 plans. 😊
It’s now been over six years since we announced that we were expecting our twins. I had been waiting for that moment for years—most of my life, actually. I’d always wanted to be a mom. I loved little kids—in small groups, at least. (There’s a …
This post is my permission to myself to sometimes write and post simple, short & sweet articles. As a recovering perfectionist, I often feel like I have to work on my articles for hours and hours, and they need to be amazing. Here’s the truth: …
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I worked on a different blog post about childhood cancer for several weeks in September, but it was honestly really hard. I bounced around working on one blog post after another, trying to get up the motivation to complete the original post that centers on the harsh realities of childhood cancer. Living through the fight is unimaginably painful, but the fight doesn’t end when your kid reaches end-of-treatment. Just like every other parent who’s walked the childhood cancer road, I got battle scars—scars that I often don’t want to look at.
When I was about halfway through writing the original article, I was, yet again, finding it difficult to tackle my important Childhood Cancer Awareness Month blog post. Avoidance is, unfortunately, my go-to defense mechanism. Anyone notice that my last published post was back in AUGUST?! If you didn’t, lucky you. Personally, I think I thought about it every single day between September 1st and today. Once you become a childhood cancer mom, you quickly feel the responsibility of spreading awareness that our children deserve so much more! I deeply felt that duty last month, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to finish an article. The responsibility—even though I know it’s far from all mine—felt crushing. And, truth be told, I was grieving the fact that my life led me to be in the childhood cancer world to feel such responsibility in the first place.
As I tried to force myself to write, I had the realization that it is OK if I’m not ready to finish that original blog article yet. I decided to give myself grace, and I started writing this article instead. Its focus is on a topic I naturally find much easier to talk and write about: gratitude.
I WILL publish my other post on childhood cancer someday. I 100% feel it’s my duty and calling to spread awareness and support for our warrior children. If you take a look at the title of my blog, though, it should come as no surprise that I chose to have this blog post revolve around all of the silver linings my family and I have been gifted with because of Lincoln’s cancer diagnosis.
I always try to focus on the positives. There are too many horrendous negatives that come with childhood cancer, and I WILL address them in several future posts. Today, though, I’m giving myself more time. In doing so, I sincerely hope that I can comfort the families living through the Hellish nightmare that is childhood cancer and also provide others with some ideas of how they can help.
Here is a list of 25 blessings and gifts my family has received as a result of Link’s leukemia diagnosis:
I believe this was the first organization I signed Lincoln up for after he was diagnosed. Each month for a year they send the cancer cutie (and his/her siblings) a plastic jar filled with little gifts. The gifts range from stuffed animals to card decks to light up toys to rubber duckies to whoopee cushions. They also send extra things, such as blankets and pillows cases, for birthdays. Our boys loved getting the jars.
Lincoln received his superhero cape shortly after his diagnosis. Josh’s sister surprised us by applying for Link to get one. This is an easy, kind way you can help a newly-diagnosed kiddo. The cape is such a fun thing for Lincoln. He had one hospital stay when her wouldn’t let me take it off him! 😂 It’s also a very fitting gift; these kids truly are superheroes!
This is such a wonderful non-profit. Sadie Keller is a childhood cancer survivor. She started this foundation because she “believes that we must band together to fight and end childhood cancer”. One element of her foundation is that it provides children going through cancer with a big “Milestone Gift” (of his/her choice within a certain dollar amount). We got Lincoln a ride-on Jeep! He and Logan both LOOOVE it.
https://sadiekellerfoundation.org/
This non-profit was started in honor of another childhood cancer survivor, Baxley. They provide childhood cancer families with wagons filled with goodies. You have to go back and forth from the hospital—loaded down with lots of stuff—when your kid is in treatment. Cancer kiddos also often don’t have the energy and/or stamina to walk on their own. The wagons from HYP help with both things! I can’t tell you how many times we’ve used and been grateful for this gift since we got it.
This is such a creative idea. When kids go through cancer treatments, they understandably miss a lot of school. As a result, it can leave them feeling even more lonely and disconnected from their peers. This organization provides an adorable stuffed animal monkey that the cancer cutie’s teacher can put at his/her desk whenever he/she is absent. It’s a fun way for everyone in the class to stay connected.
http://www.monkeyinmychair.org/
Quinton Muir is a childhood cancer angel who loved Ironman. His amazing family set up this foundation in his honor. They provide care packages, Christmas boxes, and scholarships to kids battling cancer. We received a huge package containing a beautiful handmade quilt and lots of other toys for Lincoln and Logan the first Christmas Link was in treatment.
Hayes is another childhood cancer angel. We feel especially close to his family’s story because he was a triplet. His beautiful parents created this organization to provide “financial support and hope to families affected by childhood cancer”. We couldn’t believe their generosity when we opened up the box from them!
You’ve heard me talk ad nauseum about this incredible organization. This weeklong, beachside retreat with other families living through childhood cancer forever changed us. PLEASE apply to attend ones of their retreats if your child is going through treatment or has recently reached end-of-treatment. Recommend it to your friends! You won’t regret it.
https://www.lighthousefamilyretreat.org/
Again, I’ve written about this wonderful experience before, but I can’t recommend it enough! We made lifelong friends and memories on this amazing vacation. While with LFR, I believe your child has to be in treatment or just off treatment within the past year, with Blue Skies, I believe your child has to be in treatment or just barely off treatment (as in within a month or two).
https://www.blueskiesministries.org/
This was our second year attending the Wacky Warriors tournament. The organization was founded by another childhood cancer angel, Nick Raiit, before he passed away, and his family has kept it going. Each September they hold a girls’ softball tournament, and each team represents a local childhood cancer warrior, angel, or survivor. We’ve been utterly spoiled each year! Everyone goes out of their way to honor our warriors and families.
https://www.wackywarriors.org/2022-softball-tournament
Yet another fantastic local organization, Camp Hobe offers summer camps in Utah “for children being treated for cancer and similarly-treated disorders and their families”. This past summer my boys went to their first day camp there, and they LOVED it!! So did I; I got several hours of time to myself! 😉 Once my boys are seven, they’ll be eligible to attend one of Camp Hobe’s overnight camps.
This is a fundraiser in Utah that’s put on every September or October to raise funds for pediatric cancer research. Kids have the chance to operate real construction machinery, get their faces painted, play games, get some swag, etc. Since Link was diagnosed just a tad before Covid, this was the first time we attended in person. Our boys loved it!
The Mascot Miracles Foundation is amazing. Throughout the year they put on several events for kids who spend much of their lives in hospitals. We’ve only been able to attend one virtual event (filmed at an aquarium) and one in-person event (at Cowabunga Bay) so far, but we plan on going to many more in the future.
We have so many phenomenal people in Link’s Army. A couple of days before Easter in 2020, one of my friends contacted me because she had a once-in-a-lifetime surprise for us. Her husband had nominated us to have Alex Boyé come serenade us in a private, “Quarantine Concert” in our front yard! (Remember, this was the early days of the pandemic.) Alex came with a few of his kids, set up a modest sound system, and sang to us in our driveway for over an hour. He was utterly amazing—both as an artist and as a person. Friends from around our neighborhood came and watched while keeping their distance. It was an experience we’ll never, ever forget.
This is the big one. Pretty much everyone’s heard of this non-profit organization and how it helps brighten the lives of children with critical illnesses. Now that our family is directly working with Utah’s chapter, I can attest to the fact that they truly are incredible. A couple of weeks ago we got the news that Lincoln’s wish has been granted! In November we’ll be heading to Orlando for Disney World and Universal Studios and staying at the incredible Give Kids the World Village!!!! 🤗
We have been absolutely blown away by people’s generosity since Lincoln was diagnosed. We have been given a few thousand dollars over the past three years. Money has rolled in from family, friends, coworkers, former co-workers, former classmates, organizations, strangers, etc. Believe me, we don’t take it for granted! We feel overwhelmingly blessed with finances and insurance thanks to the jobs Josh has held. Even so, it is ALWAYS expensive to have a child go through cancer. Hidden bills and fees seem to show up all the time; I’ve come to dread getting the mail because there’s almost always a medical bill and/or something I have to do with insurance. Things would have been so much more stressful without everyone’s help, though. If you’re ever wondering what you can do to help a family going through cancer, money is always appreciated. 💛
I’ve mentioned before that I’m part of a one-of-a-kind Facebook group for Utah moms whose kids are going through/have gone through cancer. The caliber of women I’ve met through this group can’t be overstated. They are truly awe-inspiring. One of the beautiful things they did for our family was raise funds to gift us an iPad and an overflowing basket of goodies. Kiddos going through cancer treatment spend innumerable hours in hospitals and at appointments, and their siblings are often stuck at home (ESPECIALLY in this post-Covid world), so having plenty of entertainment (books, puzzles, stuffed animals, toys, games, coloring books, stickers, etc.) is a must. In case you can’t tell from their smiling faces in the picture above, Lincoln and Logan LOVED this amazing gift.
As you can imagine, you don’t have much spare time when you’re dealing with cancer. We appreciated anything that could simplify our days. We were blessed time and time (& time) again with family, friends, and neighbors who brought us meals. We received frozen meals and hot meals with equal gratitude. We also loved getting gift cards to restaurants—especially to fast food joints for those particularly crazy days. Gift cards for gas were lifesavers with all of the trips to and from the hospital. You might think giving these things is “boring” or uninspired, but I promise you that they’re one of the first things almost ALL families going through cancer treatments say they need.
When people are trying to think of families that could use a little boost in spirits, they understandably tend to think of families dealing with cancer. I know I did before Link was diagnosed, and I definitely do now! As a result, MANY people have given us surprises throughout the past 3-1/2 years. We got THREE outdoor playsets/toys people were getting rid of. We got an AMAZING, one-of-a-kind, custom-built swing from Josh’s stepdad. We got a custom-made canvas print of our boys. We got homemade quilts. And so much more!! At times we’ve felt guilty for all of the incredible things people have offered. However, at one point my wise friend told me that people wouldn’t offer if they didn’t want to give us something, and by turning a gift down, we weren’t allowing those people to serve and bless us. OK, fine… We’ll gladly let people receive blessings for blessing us. 😘
As simple as it is, it always brightened our day when we discovered loving artwork and messages on our driveway and/or front door. I’ve said this before already, but you don’t need to reinvent the wheel to make someone smile! These are tried and true ways to lift someone’s spirits.
Oh, the wonderful discounts… 😂 Like I’ve said before, the cost of admission to the cancer club is WAY too high. But… We didn’t complain when it balanced out a teensy bit when companies offered us discounts after learning about Lincoln. Lower cost for sprinkler repair? Yes, please!!!
You know the popular question along the lines of, “If you could have a maid, a personal chef, or a nanny for the rest of your life, which would you choose?” My answer is always the same: A MAID!!!! ALWAYS a maid! I love having a clean house. However, it is an ongoing struggle for me to ever want to clean. My ADHD certainly doesn’t help. Neither did Link’s cancer diagnosis. A few times throughout his treatment, we had wonderful friends come over to clean our house and/or do some laundry. My mom, who stayed with us and helped us more than I could have ever wished for, was a LIFESAVER in this department, as well. If you’re wondering what you can do to help a family going through a medical trial, offer to clean their house. Or offer to pay for a maid to clean for them (just one time or as an ongoing thing for awhile). Seriously. They may be hesitant to say yes at first, but ask them if it would honestly help. If they admit that it would (and I don’t know a single cancer mom who honestly would never appreciate it), tell them there is 100% no judgment in it, that you want to help, and you’re going to help.
One of my favorite funny memes says, “I don’t think of myself as having a ‘grey’ thumb; I’m more of a plant hospice worker, easing the transition so plants can go to Jesus”. 😂🙋🤦 Yep. That’s me. While I would love to love gardening like my mom does, that hasn’t happened yet in my life. Josh and I REALLY struggle with getting out and doing yardwork. We don’t want to have the worst yard on the block, but more often than not, it’s a contender. During Lincoln’s treatment…?? Forget about it. When people offered to come mow our lawn, weed whack, pull weeds, etc., we were SO GRATEFUL!!!! The same can be said for when people removed snow from our driveway/sidewalks in the winter. Angels—all of them.
This gift is truly priceless. I will never be able to fully communicate how grateful I am for the tribe we fell into that makes this difficult road so much more bearable. We’ve made friends through Facebook groups, family retreats, and many other avenues. We would have been lost without them.
OK. This is mostly a joke, but in reality we DID use Lincoln having cancer as an excuse to get out of speeding tickets…twice. 😂 Neither Josh not I get pulled over often. It just so happened that we got pulled over TWICE in 2020 when we were going on car rides to get out of the house. It happened early on when Lincoln was pretty miserable. We’d drive through neighborhoods for a change of scenery, and a couple of times we didn’t notice speed limit changes. It didn’t take much explaining—basically just a glance at our sweet boy’s bald head—before the cops let us off.
Oh my goodness… The amount of prayers offered on Lincoln’s behalf—and for our whole family, actually—is innumerable. We’ve been surrounded by good vibes sent from everyone for years. If you even offered one prayer for us, THANK YOU. We felt them, and they helped.
*Denotes local (to/near Utah) organizations
This is most definitely NOT an exhaustive list of everything we’ve received and been blessed with. I know I’ve forgotten some things. It should give you a good idea of why Josh and I are so grateful, though. We’ve been given a lot. Josh and I frequently say that the price of admission into this cancer club is FAR too high, yet we wouldn’t have received any of these beautiful things without joining.
If you know someone whose child has been diagnosed with cancer, please refer to this list for ideas of how you can help! Refer those families to this list so they can sign up for the amazing programs and help available! And whether or not you know a family struggling with childhood cancer, please consider donating to one of the MANY non-profits that help provide hope to families going through some very, very dark days.
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You know the good ol’ saying, “I need a vacation from my vacation!”? Yeah. I definitely needed one after our trip to Georgia. We’ve been home for a whole month, but I came home with a horrible cold that refused to leave me alone. That combined with typical busy summer activities made settling back in take longer. I’m finally feeling rested and back to normal, though. It’s high time I tell you about our incredible time with Blue Skies on St. Simons Island!
The tagline for Blue Skies Ministries reads, “Imagine a world without childhood cancer. Until then… Blue Skies ®”. They offer a bright patch between the clouds for families living through the realities of childhood cancer. Just like Lighthouse Family Retreat, they provide beach camps for families.
They offer summer camps in both Florida and Georgia. This year they’re also offering a fall weekend camp in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. We went for a weeklong summer camp to St. Simons Island, Georgia from July 10th to the 15th, and it really was one of our best weeks ever.
We loved our time with Lighthouse Family Retreat last summer so much that I was REEEEAAALLY hoping we’d be able to go again this year. I applied for another retreat early on this year, but we were put on their waitlist. They have limited spots available for returning guest families, as they want every childhood cancer family to have the opportunity to go at least once. I 100% support this policy, but I was still super bummed that we didn’t automatically get in. I told several people that it was probably my own fault they didn’t have space for us since I’d trumpeted to anyone and everyone in my cancer circle how amazing LFR was and encouraged them to apply. 😂
I didn’t want to leave us being able to go on another retreat up to chance, so as soon as I found out we were on LFR’s waitlist, I started researching. I wanted to find out if there were any other similar organizations. To my delight, I found out there are several! After reading about each of the ones I found, I decided to apply to Blue Skies. It seemed to be very close in style to LFR. In fact, I later found out they were both started by the same incredible woman! (Melinda Mayton is a superwoman!!!)
I’m so glad I applied to Blue Skies and we were accepted! While we were notified a few times that there were openings at LFR retreats, it was always last-minute, and we wouldn’t have been able to swing any of the trips. In hindsight, I’m so grateful that we were led to Blue Skies so I have the opportunity of sharing another wonderful organization with you!
With both Blue Skies and Lighthouse Family Retreat, you’re constantly hearing people say things like, “This is the best week ever” or “There’s nothing else like it”. Both statements are true. As I’ve been pouring over pictures from our trip while writing this post, I’ve gotten more and more teary-eyed. There truly are good people in the world, and we’ve met many of them on our childhood cancer family retreats.
While we’d wanted to turn our trip into another epic, cross-country road trip like we did last summer, it just wasn’t possible this year. We were able to tack on a few extra days at the beginning, though. We flew into Atlanta on July 7th.
And might I just say…I can now officially say that I do NOT enjoy flying with kids! 😂 This was Lincoln and Logan’s first time on a plane. While they really liked a lot of it, and that was fun to witness, it was So. Much. Work. First of all, I never pack light, so we had so much luggage. It took a long time to get through security with all of Link’s medical equipment—even WITH the extra help we got from TSA Cares. Plus it felt like we were constantly telling Logan to come back to us as he hurried too far ahead. THEN we still had to keep them entertained on the actual flight! I mean…I knew it would be a lot of work, and we went prepared, but GEEZ! So stressful. Not. Fun.
ANYWAY, we got into Atlanta super late. Thanks to it taking an unimaginably long time to get our rental car (which we’d already booked in advance, btw), we didn’t get into our hotel until around 2 AM. Luckily we were able to sleep in the next morning. We then drove down to Savannah, stopping for a visit with a friend on the way. We spent two days in Savannah, and, as expected, we fell in love with it! (If you’d like more details about our time in Savannah in another post, let me know!)
On July 10th we drove from Savannah, which is only about an hour and a half away from St. Simons, and arrived at the Sea Palms Resort around 4 or 5 PM. They had signs welcoming each cancer family lining the road up to the resort. Little details like that were sprinkled throughout the whole week, making us feel like true VIPs.
Volunteers greeted us with smiles and abundant offers of help. The volunteers who were specifically assigned to our family (our Host Families) were so amazing right from the start!!! We were assigned ELEVEN volunteers to help us throughout the week! In reality, though, we had many more. EVERY volunteer at the retreat was so friendly and willing to chip in at the drop of a hat. We met so many wonderful people.
After we checked in (which included getting some awesome swag), our Family Hosts followed us to our room and helped us unload our car and bring everything in. They made sure we were settled nicely before giving us some time to ourselves. We were able to relax and admire our amazing digs before the festivities began that night.
Each day was packed with fun activities. You weren’t required to go to any of them, but they all sounded so great that we only missed a few (mainly due to our boys sleeping in). Every morning started with getting together for donuts, bagels, and drinks. As you can imagine, our sweet tooth boy (aka Logan) LOVED having permission to eat donuts every day. 😊
After that, Josh and I got to spend time alone with the other parents whose children were going through cancer treatments and their after-effects. Volunteers took care of all of the kids at the pool so we could just focus on ourselves. Both at LFR and Blue Skies, this time was so incredibly therapeutic and healing. It’s amazing how quickly we bonded with our shared experiences. It was truly humbling for Josh and I to share space with this unbelievable group of parents, some of whom have been fighting for and alongside their kids with cancer for close to and OVER a decade. I was always a little sad when this time together came to an end each day!
Our days were filled with activities around St. Simons Island and Jekyll Island. We had several beach days, and, just like last year, our boys loved it. Josh and I loved it, too. Going with our volunteers may have spoiled us for all future beach days, though. 😂 They hauled all of our stuff down to the beach, set it up, took it down, and hauled it back from the beach every single time. AND everyone took turns playing with our boys and walking with Lincoln. I actually got to sit—in silence and shade —and just RELAX!
Every night had a theme. Our first night there, we had a luau at the resort’s pool. Both of our boys got so much braver swimming on this trip! It was so fun to watch them grow up before our eyes. Swimming lessons are definitely in our plans for next year. The other theme nights included a Western Hoedown, a Parents’ Night Out (when the guest parents all went to dinner together while the volunteers took our kids to see Minions: The Rise of Gru), a Pool Party at the COOLEST waterpark on the coast, and an unforgettable Red, White, and Blue night complete with a parade, red carpet, and fireworks.
That parade, you guys… 😭 It happened on our last night there, and I don’t know if any adult was able to leave completely dry-eyed. Every time I think about it, I tear up. Blue Skies, Sea Palms Resort, and SSI collaborated to make it perfect. Volunteers decorated the resort’s golf carts, which the guest families then rode in to the gorgeous location for our last catered meal together. Policemen led the parade in their patrol cars. All along the route, SSI citizens were out on their lawns with signs and big smiles, waving to us and celebrating our warrior kids. A local high school’s cheerleading team was near the end of the route with an individual sign for each of our cancer warriors. We’ll never, ever forget it.
We ate so much delicious food while there. Blue Skies outdid themselves with their catered food selections, and we “found” a few gems (via blogs I’d read in advance) on our own. I’ll be posting a separate blog post a bit later detailing all of the scrumptious delights we enjoyed. Stay tuned!
Just like LFR, Blue Skies is a non-denominational faith-based non-profit. Its goal is not only to provide respite for families, but also to help them feel God’s love and goodness. They do a phenomenal job of achieving these goals.
Each morning there was a worship service with a lesson taught by that week’s wonderful volunteer camp pastor. We were also unbelievably blessed to have Tasha Layton, a top Christian artist who appeared on American Idol AND was one of Katy Perry’s backup singers, perform and lead us in worship services throughout the week. I can’t even tell you how many times her amazing voice gave me goosebumps. Her personal stories inspired us all, and she was the kindest, most down-to-earth soul. Logan had fun playing with her son, so I spent a fairly good amount of time with her, and it was such a privilege.
At both LFR and Blue Skies, they don’t believe in saying goodbye. Instead, as we parted ways, our words were full of “See ya laters”. Our volunteers helped us load our car up and buckle Lincoln and Logan in. We cried tears of gratitude together as we hugged and promised to stay in touch.
It’s hard to put into words just how special this week was, but I’ll give it a try…
This amazing organization gave us a family vacation where we were able to relax and have fun together without having to worry about money or whether or not Lincoln would be able to participate in activities. It gave Josh and I time alone together when we were 100% confident that our boys were being cared for in our absence. It provided us with front-row seats to witness our Heavenly Father’s love for us and for others. It introduced us to kindred spirits we laughed, cried, played, ate, and sang with—people we now consider family.
If you are a family dealing with pediatric cancer, please consider applying to Blue Skies! You won’t regret it. If you know a family who’s living through childhood cancer, please let them know about Blue Skies. If you’re looking for a sensational non-profit organization to support, please consider donating to and/or volunteering with Blue Skies. I know we will be.
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July—Our Month for Childhood Cancer Family Retreats
This week we’re attending a weeklong retreat for families living through childhood cancer on St. Simons Island, Georgia. Blue Skies Ministries (BSM) is the nonprofit organization putting us up at the beautiful Sea Palms Resort. It’s been an amazing week so far! This getaway is set up much like Lighthouse Family Retreat (LFR), which we had the pleasure of vacationing with last summer. I’ll write about our fun trip to Georgia later, after we’ve fully enjoyed it and returned back home. In the meantime, though, you can read on about the incredible experience we had with LFR in Emerald Isle, North Carolina last July.
What is Lighthouse Family Retreat?
I first heard about LFR from an amazing Facebook group I’m part of. It’s for moms in Utah whose children are currently fighting or have battled childhood cancer. Several of the moms in this group had gone on an LFR trip with their families, and they all loved it.
(Sidenote: Facebook groups are where it’s at, y’all. Who’s with me on this? If it weren’t for the connections and resources I gain from specialized FB groups, I would have ditched this social media platform long ago. I’m looking at you, 2020. 😉😂)
“Lighthouse Family Retreat is a faith-based non-profit that exists to strengthen every family living through childhood cancer. We host restorative retreats and develop helpful resources so that families and their support systems can find hope in God and help in their fight.”
https://www.lighthousefamilyretreat.org
Trip Planning
As soon as applications were open for the summer 2021 LFR trips, I applied. I hoped and prayed that we’d be selected. We were coming up on the 18-month mark of Link’s treatment. We were so grateful that he was in remission and the maintenance phase of treatment. We fully believed (and, luckily, were right) that the worst was behind us and that he had less than a year of treatment left. However, we were also exhausted. A year and a half of cancer treatments, hospitalizations, and medications—during a global pandemic, no less—will do that to ya. The idea of a paid family beach vacation to connect with others who’d walked the same difficult path we had was thrilling.
We were SO happy when we got the emails and phone calls that confirmed our application had been accepted! We’d be going to Emerald Isle, North Carolina from July 12th to July 17th. We immediately started researching and getting excited about the trip. Okay, that’s a lie. I’d been pouring over Pinterest and travel blogs for months already just thinking about the possibility of going. That’s what I do. (Hi. My name is Becca, and I’m a Pinterest addict. 😉) Once our trip was official, though, I really started planning.
For a multitude of reasons, Josh and I decided that we wanted to take an epic cross-country road trip to North Carolina and back. Josh had plenty of vacation days at work, so we came up with an incredible 17-day itinerary. We started driving on July 6th and didn’t get back home until July 22nd. In addition to Emerald Isle, NC; we also spent time in Denver, CO; Salina, KS; St. Louis, MO; Gatlinburg, TN; Beaufort, NC; Charlotte, NC; Nashville, TN; and Kansas City, MO. It was truly a vacation we’ll never forget. (Let me know in the comments if you’d like to read more about our other stops on the road trip in a different post!)
My Facebook Post about LFR
After we got home from our trip last summer, I summed up our Lighthouse Family Retreat experience in a Facebook post. Here it is:
“I don’t even know where to start with this post, which is why we’ve been home for almost a whole week now and I still haven’t written it. To put it simply, our week at the Lighthouse Family Retreat was one of the best weeks of our lives. This non-profit organization, which “strengthen[s] families living through childhood cancer by offering restorative retreats and helpful resources”, is simply the best.
From the moment we arrived till the second we left, volunteers catered to our every request—spoken and unspoken. We have literally never felt so loved and cared for by so many (former) strangers. I tear up every time I think of these amazing people and the incredible gift they gave us.
We were assigned six volunteers (4 adults & 2 kids) to be our “Family Partners”. They greeted us enthusiastically when we arrived and helped us unload our car before bringing us dinner that first night. Throughout the rest of the week, they cleaned our condo, did our laundry (yes, even our “Mormon underwear”/”Jesus jammies”/[insert funny garment nickname here]), tended and played with our kids while Josh and I went to adult activities, etc. Lincoln has never had so many people jump at the chance to help him walk seemingly nonstop. Logan has never immediately taken to so many new people (or “friends”, as he calls every single new person he meets). I quickly lost count of how many times I told Josh I was going to go do something, and one of the volunteers jumped in and said, “No, sit down. I’ve got it .” Every single volunteer we encountered seemed to radiate Christ’s love. They truly were His hands and feet for the week—so selfless, so giving.
Each morning Josh and I were able to meet and talk with 23 other parents (including the 4 leading the discussions) who have gone/are going through their child having cancer. All of our stories brought us closer together. There’s something about being in a room where every single other person just “gets it”. I felt so seen, heard, and validated. It was so refreshing to hear again and again that I’m not the only mom who knows what it’s like to hear that your kid has cancer, who has spent countless days in the hospital with their sick child, who is utterly exhausted after every single clinic day, who has such a hard time getting motivated to do housework, who struggles with PTSD triggers, etc. These talk sessions were both therapeutic and, believe it or not, filled with tears AND laughter.
Josh and I also got to go on a date night with the other parents while all of the Family Partners watched our kids and threw them an “un-birthday” party. We had a delicious surf and turf dinner, enjoyed conversation, and were able to reconnect with one another. After dinner, Josh and I got time to ourselves before heading back to the condo. This is either sweet or pathetic, but we were so excited that we got to go grocery shopping TOGETHER for the first time in a very, very long time. We also got yummy ice cream and drove to more beautiful places on Emerald Isle. When we got back to the condo, our boys were already in their PJs and splendidly worn out.
I haven’t even talked about the phenomenal beach! It was clean and private, the sand was soft, and the ocean was just as warm as it was in Thailand, if not warmer. It’s safe to say that Logan’s introduction to the ocean was a huge success. If he could have been at the beach/in the ocean 24/7, he would have. Lincoln liked it, too—especially playing with the sand, but Logan is the one having a hard time re-adjusting to living in a land-locked state. 😂
We made a lot of sacrifices this summer in order to be able to safely attend this retreat. Every person (5 and older) who went, including the volunteers, had to get a Covid test a few days before arriving. Josh and I didn’t want any chance of us not being able to go after we’d planned everything, so we were, if possible, even more cautious in the weeks leading up to our vacation. We missed family events, wore masks indoors and outdoors, etc., etc. I’m so happy to say that it was all worth it in the end.
We will definitely be supporting LFR and possibly becoming volunteers for them for years to come. If you’re ever looking for a nonprofit to donate to, I highly encourage you to consider this one. I can’t say enough good things about it.”
Final Thoughts on LFR
Our week at LFR was beyond restorative. After 18 months of cancer treatments for our son, this retreat was just what we needed to step away from the daily stresses of medications, clinic appointments, sickness, side effects, Covid isolation, etc. We made priceless memories, developed stronger relationships, received blessings, and were spoiled.
This organization and all of its volunteers are phenomenal. We have never felt more loved and cared for from people we’d never met before. Now we’ve made lifelong friends. The family partners assigned to us showed us such selfless, Christlike love all week long. My husband and I were able to focus on each other and our family and have a “normal” family vacation since there were so many helping hands ready to step in and assist us with our very active, medically complex twins.
Our boys were on cloud nine as they made new friends and came out of their shells. Seeing the smiles on their faces and their excitement as they saw and tried new things—like playing in the ocean for the first time—is something we’ll always treasure.
If you are a family living through childhood cancer, I highly recommend applying to go on an LFR trip. If you know a family living through childhood cancer, please send them this info! If you’ve ever considered going on a domestic service trip, seriously think about volunteering with Lighthouse Family Retreat. If you’re ever looking for a worthy charity to donate to, keep LFR in mind. You won’t regret any of these decisions.
Do you know of any other non-profits that offer retreats for families living through childhood cancer? I’d love to compile a list for future families!
I was sitting at Cupbop, enjoying my alone time while I waited for my family’s takeout order, when I finished listening to Cory Reese’s book titled Stronger than the Dark: Exploring the Intimate Relationship Between Running and Depression. Listening to this book left me feeling …
Prelude Have you ever thought about what songs would be included on the soundtrack if your life were a movie? I have! In fact, when I was a teenager daydreaming about being the heroine of my own romantic movie, I thought about it a lot. …
We’ve all heard the phrase “every parent’s worst nightmare”. It’s often spoken in hushed disbelief surrounding moments of trauma. Every parent fears ever being told that their child has cancer. It’s a fear we all have, but no one ever expects it to actually happen to them. I didn’t, either…until it did.
Did you know that your child is MUCH more likely to be diagnosed with cancer than he/she is to win the lottery? It’s true. Odds of winning one of the most popular lotteries in the U.S. are 1 in 176 MILLION. However, one out of every 285 children in the U.S. will be diagnosed with cancer before they turn 20.
Since our boys were born at 23 weeks, 6 days gestation, we’d already had our fair share of difficult medical conversations before Lincoln was diagnosed. We were frequent visitors to practically every department at the children’s specialty hospital. Ironically, anytime we were at the hospital going through something difficult, Josh and I would walk past the Oncology department and think—or sometimes say out loud, “Things could always be worse!” Even so, we never expected to be told one of our boys had leukemia.
Here is my Facebook post where I announced to our friends and family that Lincoln had cancer:
“They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but here are a whole bunch more:
To say the past few days haven’t gone as planned for us would be the understatement of the century. Josh and I had a couples’ massage date all booked for yesterday to help us relieve some stress. Instead of going on that date, we found ourselves back at Primary Children’s Hospital with Lincoln. The short version of the story is that Lincoln has been diagnosed with leukemia.
If you’re reading this news for the first time, then you probably feel a lot like we did at first…utterly and completely shocked. It had been a long month and a half for us, with Lincoln on his third antibiotic to clear up ear infections. He’d been miserable, we’d all lost a LOT of sleep, and things still didn’t seem to be greatly improving. He also had a sore on his bum that was getting worse. The boys had their three-year wellness exams scheduled for Thursday, so we were looking forward to hopefully getting Link’s sore taken care of and having him finally be on the mend. After looking at Link’s bad abscess and seeing how miserable and pale he was, our pediatrician thought it’d be best for the surgical team at Primary Children’s to take a look at him. Josh and I weren’t surprised by that, especially considering Link’s complicated history and how bad the abscess was.
Hindsight is 20/20, and we see all of the signs clearly now, but cancer wasn’t even on our radar when we checked in to the ER. We were worried about Lincoln’s pain, fevers, and especially possible sepsis. Then the doctor blindsided us by telling us that his bloodwork showed several red flags consistent with leukemia. More tests confirmed our worst nightmare.
We found out what type of leukemia he has yesterday. He’s been diagnosed with B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). It’s the most common type of childhood cancer. It’s the “best” diagnosis out of several bad ones; it’s still cancer, after all. Depending on some more factors we’ll find out over the next month, the survival rate is anywhere from 88-98%. Right now, Link’s considered a “Standard Risk” patient.
Since we got up to our Oncology room, Lincoln’s received two blood transfusions and three platelet transfusions. They’re going to be taking him into surgery any minute to place a port, get an echo, and do a lumbar puncture. The surgery will take about two hours; then it usually takes him awhile to wake up and get back to the room. Then he’ll start chemo later today. His treatment plan will last for about 2-1/2 years.
TL;DR: Lincoln has cancer. This sucks. Life isn’t fair. BUT Lincoln is strong. He’s the strongest little dude we’ve ever met. The Lord is on our side, and we have faith that things will go well. Please pray for us. ❤️🙏❤️”
I posted that on January 25, 2020—two days after Josh and I had been told that Lincoln had cancer. Almost as shocking as it was to hear his diagnosis, sometimes it’s hard to believe that Lincoln is now 100% done with his treatment! We got through it! We all survived! When you hear that your child is going to be going through treatment and getting chemotherapy for OVER TWO YEARS, it’s hard not to feel defeated just as the fight is beginning. However, with faith, perseverance, and patience, eventually we stepped out of the dark and into the light again.
I’ve always felt a strong pull towards trying to help people. Now that I’ve been through “every parent’s worst nightmare”, I simply HAVE to try to help other parents who are still in the trenches. I HAVE to spread awareness and advocate for these precious children who deserve so much more.
One thing Josh and I learned is that even though ALL is the most common type of childhood cancer, it’s still very rare. Most pediatricians only encounter a child being diagnosed with cancer 1-3 times in their entire career. This means that even if you have an excellent pediatrician (which we did/do), it’s unlikely that he/she has a lot of experience witnessing the signs of leukemia. That’s why it’s so important for YOU to know the signs of childhood cancer.
Every child is different and manifests different symptoms in varying degrees, but here are some common signs and symptoms of childhood leukemia: - Fatigue* - Weakness* - Feeling cold - Feeling dizzy or lightheaded - Shortness of breath - Paler skin* - Infections* - Fever* - Easy bruising and bleeding - Petechia (tiny red spots on the skin)* - Frequent or severe nosebleeds - Bleeding gums - Bone or joint pain, especially in the legs - Swelling of the abdomen - Loss of appetite and weight loss* - Swollen lymph nodes* - Coughing or trouble breathing - Swelling of the face and arms - Headaches, seizures, vomiting* - Rashes or gum problems *Denotes symptoms that Lincoln had prior to his diagnosis (He probably had more than these, but since he was/is mostly nonverbal, these are the only ones we KNOW he had.)
I don’t want to be an alarmist. MOST of the time if your child is experiencing some of these symptoms, it’s NOT because he/she has cancer. However, if he/she has several of these symptoms for a prolonged period of time—especially if you “just feel that something’s off” or “just have a gut feeling”—take your child to the hospital. Insist that they get a Complete Blood Count (CBC). Follow your gut.
Words will never be able to describe our gratitude for Lincoln reaching remission and having such a favorable survival prognosis. Though this childhood cancer “club” isn’t one I’d want for anyone, if you’ve found this blog because your child was recently diagnosed, know that you’re not alone. Know that others have walked the same path and come out victorious on the other side. Know that the next several years of your life will be some of the hardest of your life, but also know that you WILL also experience moments of profound gratitude. You’ll see the good in people. You’ll meet some of the most amazing people on this earth. You’ll feel more love than you probably ever have before. You’ll witness miracles.
I am a self-help book junkie. I read books from all genres, but I have consistently read several self-help books every year since college. I had Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert on my must-read list for a very long time before …
